Discover Sandra Oh’s inspiring Dartmouth College commencement speech where she shares how embracing discomfort can lead to growth, resilience, and unexpected opportunities in life.
Canadian-American actress Sandra Oh, who rose to fame through her role in Grey’s Anatomy, has won several awards including the Emmy and Golden Globe. On June 15, she delivered a commencement speech at Dartmouth College in the United States.
“I never went to university,” Sandra said. “But I have played characters who did. By awarding me this degree, you’ve helped fulfill my parents’ dream—thank you. And it’s a doctorate! I know, it’s honorary.”
“When I first got the call with this proposal, I thought, what a wonderful chance to meet all of you! But immediately after, I panicked—Oh God, what am I going to say?”
“Last year Roger Federer gave such a great speech. I can’t be as funny as Conan O’Brien. Or as accomplished as Mindy Kaling. Looking at her achievements alone makes me want to crawl back into bed.”
“But every night since receiving this invitation, I kept thinking about you. And I realized, no matter what I say, I must be honest. If I am to share something from my own life, it’s this: If you stay in discomfort, you will learn the most. If instead of avoiding discomfort, you learn to live with it—you may discover something you never imagined. The situations that make you uncomfortable can actually build an inner strength, one that helps you face challenges while holding on to your values.”
“Many of you know that I had the great opportunity to play Dr. Cristina Yang for 10 seasons in Grey’s Anatomy. That role gave me financial stability, fame, and privileges. But it was also the most challenging decade of my life. I learned some of my deepest lessons then, because so much of it was uncomfortable. When I started, I was in my thirties. I knew what the show involved, but I had no idea what was coming.”
“I had many demands—on myself, and even from the writers. If something in the script didn’t feel right, I fought for it. I believed I had a responsibility to Cristina’s character. I still remember in season six, I had a conflict with the writers over the script. It escalated to the point where I had to call the boss. That day Shonda Rhimes, the head writer and executive producer, told me: ‘Sandra, this has happened before. Trust me. Something will come of it—just say the lines.’
I trusted Shonda. Because deep down, we both wanted the same thing—a great show. The discomfort didn’t vanish right away, but my relationship with it began to change. I started to understand that discomfort was part of creating something extraordinary.”
“And so, I embraced my discomfort. Out of it came something new—not just mine, not just the writers’, but something richer, something that helped me grow deeper as an actress, as a colleague, and as a person. Now I understand: discomfort is actually an opportunity. It’s a chance to practice how you want to express yourself, how you want to lead, what kind of person you want to become.”
“Life will often challenge you in ways you cannot predict. Many things will happen that are completely beyond your control. During Grey’s Anatomy, I too faced such moments. The relentless schedule left me exhausted and unwell. I had reached my physical and mental limits. And ignoring the pain no longer worked. Because you can’t run away from depression. You can’t dump panic attacks onto someone else.
But the show had to go on. Life doesn’t stop for you. The more I wished external circumstances would change, the worse I felt. I found some balance only when I stopped looking outward and began looking inward.”
“You may be completely fine right now, and I hope you are—but I bet there is something making you uncomfortable, something you cannot control. Maybe you’re worried about whether you’ll get a job. Maybe you’re anxious about moving away from your friends. Maybe it’s the collapse of civil rights systems, or global unrest, or even the fear of robots taking over. You might be desperate for change, but don’t know where to begin.
Whatever the reason for your discomfort, one of the best ways to deal with it is to accept it. You can even practice small exercises in living with discomfort—like I do. For me, one exercise is immersing myself in silence. Spending time with myself.”
“This means building a relationship with yourself that isn’t dependent on instant thoughts or feelings. Not just reacting all the time. Because if we are constantly reacting, confusion will always surround us.
Be compassionate—with yourself, with others, even with those you disagree with.”